Why Do My Mistakes Keep Owning Me?

It's frustrating, isn't it? No matter how much you try to stay positive, there's that one emotion that consistently takes over when you make a mistake. I know it's not helping me, and I understand the importance of maintaining a positive mindset, but it's just so difficult to do it consistently.

During my experience coaching athletes, I've come to realize that understanding what goes on in our minds and nervous systems can offer some insights. It allows us to grant ourselves a bit more grace and patience while we work on overcoming the things that have kept us stuck for so long. It all comes down to mindset.

Our minds are remarkable yet complex tools. They have the potential to lead us to any goal we set for ourselves, but only if we learn how to use them effectively.

Here's a quick rundown of how our minds work:

Did you know that 95% of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are controlled by our unconscious mind? The problem is, the unconscious mind's primary job is to keep us safe, comfortable, and resistant to change. It lacks the ability to think, so it can't differentiate between what's good or bad for us.

If 95% of our mental processes are influenced by the unconscious mind, it means that our conscious mind is responsible for only 5%. This can be a bit daunting because our conscious mind is supposed to think and make decisions based on what is genuinely beneficial for us. However, it often justifies our behaviors using past experiences as references.

Now, let's get back to our initial question:

Why do I feel so angry/frustrated/sad when I make a mistake?

The answer lies in the fact that your unconscious mind has programmed this response, and it's running on autopilot without your conscious awareness. Every time the mistake occurs, you instantly experience the same emotion, without any conscious thought.

The world tells us that the solution is to "just be positive and think better thoughts." While that may sound simple, it's not easy to achieve. And now you know why. How can 5% of conscious thought ever compete with the overwhelming influence of the unconscious mind, which controls 95% of our mental processes?

In life and athletics, cultivating a positive mindset requires dedication and hard work. It involves learning and implementing tools that allow us to reprogram our unconscious mind with thoughts and beliefs that serve us and propel us toward our next goals in life and sport.

Remember, it's a process, and it won't happen overnight. But with persistence and the right mindset tools, you can and will get there!